BDSM, embracing pain, Fantasies, Gender stereotypes, Submissive tendencies, What Women Really Want, Wonderboy

How to fuck a feminist up the ass

What happened to turn me away from butt sex was a constant harassment from different guys.

My ex-boyfriend just tried to force it in a couple of times when he was drunk and trying to fuck me from behind. This one guy did it in an alley and boy he just kept on going although it was pretty evident it wasn’t going to happen without any lube or my participation. There was blood and everything, but it didn’t change his tactic one bit. A man I was with tried to force it in when I was sitting on top of him after I’d orgasmed. Ultimately I had to say that it’s not going to happen just like that. He was looking for a way to fuck himself to an orgasm without getting me pregnant. (What do you mean safe sex? We were horny and it was 3 o’clock in the morning.)

But then it once happened accidently by a guy who felt incredibly bad afterwards because his ex-girlfriend had had a serious negative thing happen to her butt. With him it happened when I was totally relaxed, he had massaged me with oils and made me feel like a flower, gently opening. When he accidently slid his quite impressive young cock in my ass, it didn’t feel bad. It almost felt good. But when he started moving, it started hurting and I had to guide him a bit. The lesson I learned was that for a guy it’s almost impossible to know the difference, and to respect it.

It also happened with Wonderboy.

Once he just put his cock in my ass, no negotiations, no nothing. We were having sex, and it wasn’t working for him. Somehow that seems to be the spot where all the men have become hasty selfish douchebags. And I hate to say it, but so did Wonderboy.

My guess is that he didn’t realize that ass is not always on the menu. He’d never had a girlfriend or any sexual encounter before me. All he knew was that he wanted it, and it was the norm in the porn he had read and watched throughout his life. And all I knew was that a guy was deliberately hurting me again. Without asking for my permission, let alone my enthusiastic consent and participation.

This is where I’m coming from, when I talk about up the butt. Ass-fuck. Anal sex.

I’ve had loads of guys ask me ”Can I stick it up your ass”. It’s pretty straightforward, because I could say no. Though the no didn’t always stay in their minds. I remember shielding my ass many a times with my hands.

You want to know how to get a piece of ass? STOP HARASSING WOMEN to give it up.

This advice is cool and okay… But putting even your finger up someone’s ass is a huge threat to someone who has had the privilege to grow up as a woman. I’ve had a few conversations about men and their asses, and although there are some who enjoy it up the ass, the most likely heterosexual answer is: “Never. It’s different for guys, yo dude.”

Well, there’s your answer then. Because it’s not different for guys. It’s the same. And if you won’t even talk about it, let alone try it, why would you be entitled to put your dick in the ass of some woman?

It will hurt. It will feel demeaning. It will be uncomfortable. They will probably bleed and hurt for a long time after. Number two will be a problem. They will very likely not enjoy it at all for the first times, if ever. Why would they want it more than you want something in your butt?

After Wonderboy took my ass without my consent it was a long and winding road for him to ever getting to try it again. Even if he only put his cock in there for a second or two. I said no and he didn’t react to it right away, and when he did. He just rolled off of me in a huff. His orgasm was compromised. My body was molested, and he didn’t even see it.

But he did it.

So I told him. In excruciating detail. How I’d been molested. How others had treated my body.

Those fucking assholes! he exclaimed. Why the hell did you even go out with that guy? he asked angrily.

He couldn’t even see that he’d done the exact same thing. Because he thought of himself as the good guy. He would never want to hurt me. (Unless I asked for it, of course.)

A tidbit of information: I used to play with my ass. It was so innocent, and yet it showed what I really liked. I used to sit on my childhood pet toy, a dog, and put his hard nose on my asshole and his hard eyes on my clit and vagina opening. His head soon looked like it’d been, well, raped, but I still have him. He’s still the thing I hold when I’m frightened or lonely. But the way I played with him I never played with a man.

Why do you think that is?

Because I never had the chance to try anything out! I never had the chance to come to any conclusion about what I like, because – hello! – the cock was already there, hard, wanting, demanding entrance. The first time I had an orgasm with a guy’s cock inside me? When he drunkenly fell asleep under me and I could grind myself to my heart’s content. And do you know the first thing he had to say, when he woke up?

Well, yes it was.

Can I fuck your ass?

And then his hands were all over the place, and his cock was pushing against my ass cheeks to get between them, and I have a feeling that if I’d fallen asleep… I’d have a different story to tell you. But I didn’t. Because I knew that my ass was only mine to protect, just like my pussy had been. Inviting someone to my home or my bed (or joining them in theirs) was like a blanket consent to do anything they wanted to me. Without even asking. Well, first asking and then ignoring the answer, more like.

I never wanted it. I never wanted a dick up my ass.

Never.

Not even after Wonderboy wonderfully played with my ass, all those cool tips did nothing to help me out. I never wanted anything up my ass. Ever. But in the end I did it because I love him, and he seemed to want it so badly.

What then made me change my mind? It wasn’t some crafty plan, fingers up my ass, licking my ass and then finally lubing my ass to be fucked. No.

What made me change my mind, was playing with Wonderboy’s fabulous ass.

It seemed that often when we made love, at some point, I’d drift from eating his cock out to eating his ass out. I never felt any repulsion or what have you. It was his ass, after all, and he did the same to me. He devoured my ass many times, but the thing was. I don’t really enjoy it so much. My ass isn’t that sensitive. Licking it is such a waste. But licking his butt sent him to the moon. I’m telling ya. He was in heaven. He oozed precum and came so hard and unexptedly that I started to see there was something in the playing with the ass trope, I hadn’t thought of. It seemed to be something Wonderboy actually desired and enjoyed.

I licked his ass, played with it with my fingers and realized that he actually truly loves it. He has bigger orgasms if I fondle his asshole. He is extatic when I do things to his butt.

He is drawn to my ass. He likes asses. Sexually, that’s what he’s mostly drawn to. Me too, and big cocks too, so I can’t complain. It isn’t really a wonder he wants to fuck my ass. It’s his ultimate fantasy. It’s demeaning. It might hurt. (Although that’s more why I get off on it, he just really wants to fuck my ass, but doesn’t want it to hurt. He wants me to enjoy it.) It’s my ass, after all.

At last I though that maybe he wanted to give me the same pleasure he had when I touched his ass. That maybe it wasn’t all about his pleasure.

I said yes.

After months of silence I went to a drug store, got a couple of different lubes and then suggested it to him. I think it went something like this.

I bought these. So. If you’d really like to try. We could maybe try it.

At first he wasn’t about to believe his good luck, but when he did it was a hop, skip and a second after we were upside down on the bed.

The first time he probably pushed 30 or so times, before I had to call it off.  It hurt like hell. We had loads of lube, he was careful, I tried to be relaxed… But there was no grand finale. No orgasm or anything else.

He didn’t make a scene. He stopped but stayed on top of me and hugged me. When I looked up, I saw him cry. I had given him something truly meaningful. I had let him in. I had let him hurt me. I had trusted him with my virginity. We both cried a bit, hugged and kissed. We felt united by the pain, by the intensity of the experience and the frailty of me body. He had been inside of me. I had invited him in, to hurt me, to open me up.

I’m really not sure, how well I’d have taken it all, if I didn’t sort of get turned on by submission and pain. (Yeah, sort of. Rolleyes.) But after we tried it once in a while it transformed from a sore, unearthing pain to an actual trip. It hurt so goddamn much, but at the same time, it was so overwhelming. My whole body was on fire. I was more full than I’d ever been. He kept on being gentle and lubing up and asking me how I was. I started to trust him. When he reached his hand over me and started to flip my clit I felt awkward. I didn’t want it. I didn’t need it.

Just fuck me.

And he did, he fucked me and strangled me and for the first time I came from anal sex. It was the most intense and mindblowing orgasm I’d ever had. It hurt too, and that’s what made it so special. Also him whispering to my ear what a slut I was and how he didn’t even care if I enjoyed it or not. It was our play, and it took a lot of time and talking and understanding and finally – just backing the fuck off from the whole ass situation – to get there.

What was the thing that lead us there, then? It wasn’t him wiggling his finger in my ass when I came, though he did that too. (And who knows, maybe he had read some hints on how to get ass, he is that sort of fellow who browses the intertubes.) It wasn’t because he slid his cock in my ass by “accident”. And it sure as hell wasn’t that he kept insisting it.

It was that he seemed to enjoy it too. Fingering his ass, licking his ass, playing with it. It made me so hot that I could make him so hot. That’s why he got ass from a feminist whose gotten nothing but ass-molesting all her life.

And now? Now It’s your turn.

 

 

My inspiration for this post came from here.

Standard

20 thoughts on “How to fuck a feminist up the ass

  1. jnakabb says:

    Not holding my breath on this one …

    Waiting for My Lady to tease me again about pegging me to spring it on her that it’s fine with me !

    Who knows where we’ll go with this one ? Oral’s definitely a one-way thing, despite our courtship activities.

  2. Do you mean oral as in mouth to ass or oral altogether, when you say a one-way thing? I realize now that I should probably also write about foreplay and the gender expectations tied to its content.

    I do hope that you get teased… and maybe pegged too! (And later on come here to tell your story, right?)

  3. jnakabb says:

    Clarification : Used to go down on me quite willingly but has only done so briefly twice in the last 15 years. As you’ve already read, I’m more than happy to oblige her and love the other things we do, so can live without penetrating her anally and can continue to wish for a return of fellatio.

    Don’t know how you ladies do it, but your blogs turn into my confessionals. No doubt I’ll be back to give you the goss if things change.

  4. Don’t know how you ladies do it, but your blogs turn into my confessionals. No doubt I’ll be back to give you the goss if things change.

    I laughed out loud at that. I guess… Because we’re (or I am, anyway) curious devils and wildly interested in other people’s sex lives. ;)

    So… Have you talked with her about it? If you’re being submissive, I understand it, if you don’t want to demand for it, but I’d think it would be healthy for both to go down on each other… Or even – and this is the only way it works for me – say it out loud. I’m not going to *choke on your cock*, but you’re gonna go down on me, boy! I need to hear Wonderboy say it. It’s not enough, if he just does demeaning things, or doesn’t reciprocate, but if he makes it a manifestation of his dominance. Oh!

  5. For me it’s not a guy’s enjoyment of assplay that would make me offer my ass in return – it’s that he’s had something inside him and knows how much it could hurt.

    I do love being inside a boy who’s getting off on it. But for the purposes of “Do-I-want-to-trust-you-with-my-ass”, I don’t require enjoyment – just that the guy be penetrated with something the size of his own dick so he’ll have some empathy.

    Even so…I’ve let Minx in there exactly twice, and the second time he kept pushing forward even when I repeatedly told him to hold still, so I’ve lost the trust and can’t see myself agreeing to anal again. I’m disappointed in Minx – he should know better. I always pay close attention to his reactions when I’m fucking his ass, and if he asks me to slow down, hold still, or pull out, I do so immediately, so at the very least he should have learned good behaviour by example.

    Although for the record I don’t think it’s that he’s selfish, I think it’s that he concentrates so hard on the physical side of an activity that he forgets to listen. When he gives me a massage – an activity that doesn’t get him off or indeed have any real benefit for him – if he grips me too hard I have to say “lighter!” about five times before he hears me.

  6. Nice of you to drop by!

    Although for the record I don’t think it’s that he’s selfish, I think it’s that he concentrates so hard on the physical side of an activity that he forgets to listen.

    That’s really cool of you to notice about Minx. It’s really easy to get lost in trying to do the right thing, when in fact the right thing would be listening. I do that sometimes, especially when it comes to ass play. I would be a terrible man-lover. I get over eager, when I get inside a guy. Someone could take that as a “they don’t care” and be hurt by it, but for me it’s just the “never been there” aspect that makes it so damn hard. And the guy’s nerviousness. When I put a finger in a woman’s pussy, they never complained I wasn’t gentle enough, quite the contrary. Ass is different.

    For me it’s not a guy’s enjoyment of assplay that would make me offer my ass in return – it’s that he’s had something inside him and knows how much it could hurt.

    I get that, and I guess I’m the same in a way. I want them to recognize how much it can hurt and how huge of a gift it is. How it demands utmost carefulness and listening and emphatising. Because, the fact is, I still shit blood after anal sex, even when it’s good. (Or should I say especially… Somehow ass play frees up this whole pain slut side of me, which usually keeps herself quite hidden.)

    For me, though, the turning point was Wonderboy’s enjoyment, because I never really thought ass play could be anything else than a trip for the penetrator. I’d had such bad encounters with it and didn’t enjoy rimming particularly, either, so I got curious only by watching Wonderboy get off. And then I got jealous. And then I was ready to pluck, wasn’t I? ;)

  7. For me, though, the turning point was Wonderboy’s enjoyment, because I never really thought ass play could be anything else than a trip for the penetrator.

    …Whereas I know that men have a prostate and women don’t, so I assumed that only men would enjoy having their asses penetrated…until I started reading blogs of women who have orgasmed from being on the receiving end, too. :)

    I assumed that I personally wouldn’t be one of those women, since I don’t have g-spot orgasms and I think anal orgasms are a variation on those. My assumption was indeed correct: anal felt vaguely annoying and that’s about it. But I’d still be willing to experiment further if I thought Minx would pay attention to my cues.

  8. Glad to be of assistance! ;) I probably wouldn’t have believed it, if I wasn’t the one experiencing it, though.

    The first 10 times were kind of awful, and there was definately no sign of orgasms, G-spot or prostate ones. But then my ass got used to it, he was nice, we tried out many, many lubes and I got into it. And then I came. But my body is a mysterious system, I have to say. I can orgasm (though I rarely do) off of being bitten on the neck and the like. Still, my anal orgasm was more like a vaginal and a clitoral orgasm combined. It didn’t leave room for requirement (of clitoral stimulation), like some of my vaginal orgasms do.

    Could you teach Minx to listen? Like start with the massaging, not the cock in your ass? It could of course be, that you just don’t enjoy it, but I think it’s a shame, that many people don’t even try it, because of the stigma (hurts, is icky and unclean, only gives to the guy). Some people have reacted pretty oddly, when I’ve shared this bit of information with them. They don’t seem to believe me, when I say I do orgasm from it, and they also kinda see it as a favor to WB, and nothing else. Odd, right? If it only hurt, (And I wasn’t into that :D) then I’d get their reaction.

    **

    By the by, I’ve read loads of studies about the female ejaculation and some of them seemed to suspect that there is a kind of prostate (gland?) in women too, which then goes on to produce the clear ejaculate just like mens’ does. There might be a connection between the two, because the studies also noted that women who had bigger glands, were the ones able to ejaculate. It’s highly uncertain, obviously, because the studies have just now gone forth to explain that it’s not, in fact, urine. (Few! Because what could be more icky, right?)

  9. I’m not sure how to teach Minx to listen. I’ve pointed out to him that he doesn’t hear me when I ask for things, and he’s apologized, but he keeps doing it.

    If he still can’t seem to pay attention to my words even though he knows he’s been bad at it and it’s a big problem, I sort of wonder if it’s just a brain thing, like a learning disability, and there’s nothing we can do. :P

    Someone told me about the Skene’s glands and their role in female ejaculation in a reply to this ranty post I made a while back: http://perversecowgirl.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/wtf/

  10. I read that Scarleteen article too, but it’s not even that ambivalent. If you want to check the actual testing, there were pretty recent ones from the female porn producer in Britain, because they censored films showing female ejaculation as peeing, (Because that would be so wrong.) and the producer then went on to get the ejaculate tested to prove it wasn’t pee. The samples showed TINY amounts of any urine content (I think is was ammonium or something?) and all the same proteins that accompany male ejaculate (you know, the liquid carrying sperm). So, it was pretty clear (pun intended!) the ejaculate is not pee. It’s origins are still kind of a mystery. Sometimes it’s clear it’s coming from the vagina, because it pushes the penis out of its way, but sometimes it might not be. But I do think that there are many possibilities and we know farely little about them, because science hasn’t been all that interested in female desire, only in reproducing and harnessing that.

    **

    Also, I have made pretty extensive testing in our bed – I mean laboratories and can attest to that squirts taste nothing like pee. It tastes a bit like semen, but it’s a lot clearer and lighter. The smell reminds me of chlorine, used for cleaning. Sometimes I can smell pee, too, but usually it’s just the clear liquid. And I’m tellin’ you – I’ve never pissed as far as I’ve squirted, about a meter that is. (There was proof!)

  11. jnakabb says:

    I’ve carried out some research (purely literary, I’m sad to say) and found a lot of descriptions of the Skene’s glands as analogous to the male prostate. Positioning response to G-spot, and A-spot/deep-spot stimulation would support this, but doesn’t support (and would negate the likelihood of) ejaculation from anal penetration.

    I’ve also read (from similar, authoritative, on-line anecdotes) that squirting is often separate from and may be experienced as a precursor to G-spot and/or vaginal orgasms (as mentioned in PC’s comment trail).

    As for (trace) presence of pee, that’s hardly surprising considering the route of delivery.

    Ah the wonders of the female body. I guess I’ll just have to keep exploring and see what I can come up with ;)

  12. Hey, I’ve squirted from clitoral stimulation alone, too.

    I believe there might be, or must be, a Skene’s gland or a place it comes from, but I don’t sexuality is that straightforward that it has to be directly stimulated in order to work its magic. The clitoris covers a lot more ground under the skin in disguise than the little hood it’s thought out to be, and I believe that’s probably true about all the other sexual organs/glands/spots.

  13. Karyn says:

    Jesus Christ gals, its just sex! Anal sex hurts when you tense up, if you don’t relax well its gonna hurt! If it bothers you, its not him, it really is in your head. Maybe you don’t like it as much as you think you do.

    If you want to have anal sex, really the key is to drop the mystique and just do with it. Stop reading into everything so much, so what if a sex act makes you feel guilty and dirty and subjugated – thats what makes it so much damn fun!

    Sex is not a conspiracy to hurt you, if you really think your SO wants to hurt you, then they don’t care about you – ITS TIME TOLEAVE! If you are staying, then be honest with yourself, are you just making a mountain out of the proverbial mole hill? Maybe they aren’t trying to hurt you, maybe you are trying to hurt yourself.

    The truth is, maybe we like all this naughty stuff we can’t admit to, thats what makes it so much fun. And may thats why as we get older we start to relax? We learn that its OK to be “bad”, that its not bad or degrading or letting our “sister down”, that its OK to want to have pirate sex in the middle of the day just to satisify OUR urges.

    Its sex, its fun, just look at how men handle sex, and to calm all the over reactions at that statement – GAY MEN – look at how gay men behave. For them sex is fun, no special forums to talk about how this or that is proof that men just dont get it, no not them. Ass play is clearly fun for them and its because they don’t read into it. Why is it us women can’t get past sex, and yet for gay men theres no social or emotional hang ups, just FUN?

    Ladies, you’ll stop having trouble with your SO when you stop treating it like its some giant psycho trip and just enjoy yourself! Now put down the Sylvia Plath book, grab your SO and fuck like rabbits!

  14. I’ll wager that you, Karyn, have in fact not read my blog a lot. Otherwise you’d know that I am in terms with my sexuality and demystification is one of the key things I’m trying to accomplish writing my sexual life for everyone to pick on. You’d also know that my wonderful, loving husband’s want to hurt me has nothing to do with abuse and everything to do with consensual, safe and mind blowing sex.

    I really take offence to you claiming that all men handle sex in a similar way. Talk about gender stereotypes! If you’d read my blog more – here it is again! – you’d know that my husband in fact doesn’t handle sex like you claim all man do – at all. I also have many gay friends, and I think your view of their sexuality is a little narrow to say the least.

    Anal sex hurts some people more than others. Same as vaginal sex. I’m not even talking about the real abusive situations I have experienced, which you blithely just sum together with the loving ones. You do not have the right to dismiss someone else’s experiences and claim only yours matter. At least not in my blog.

    To put this all togetherer I’d say you completely missed the point of this post and this blog. Maybe your sexuality is so self evident and normative that you can just make sweeping generalisations about everybody else’s sexuality. I am not going there. I am talking about my own experiences and trying to show through them, how hard it is to come terms with a non-normative sexuality and also how loving and egalitarian a relationship with sexual d/s can be.

    The truth is, maybe we like all this naughty stuff we can’t admit to, thats what makes it so much fun. And may thats why as we get older we start to relax? We learn that its OK to be “bad”, that its not bad or degrading or letting our “sister down”, that its OK to want to have pirate sex in the middle of the day just to satisify OUR urges.

    This, however, is spot on. It’s the same thing I’m trying to say, though. Sigh.

  15. Maybe you don’t like it as much as you think you do.

    This is perhaps the most intrusive, patronising and offensive thing I’ve ever heard said about someone else’s sexuality and experiences.

    There is no hesitation in your world? No second thoughts, no negotiation, no accidental pain, no past abusive experiences, the way you were raised, the way our culture has raised you that can hinge new experiences?

    Wow.

    Sex doesn’t make me feel dirty. Sex makes me feel happy and liberated and in love. But it can still hurt. It can still be too much sometimes emotionally, when life is going on. You just… vulgarize everything to the point where you can make your sweeping generalisations like the world, gender stereotypes, cultural values and physical experiences just come together in One Typical Experience. Not everyone is like you.

    Also – Ladies? Who are you talking to? That text is mine, it tells about my experiences. At least say it to my face. If you are devaluing my experience just come out and say so. That way I can really take offence and not just point out all the dismal misintrepretations and concepts in your comment.

  16. Well, I have thought about it afterwards, if it could fit the bill of rape. I decided no. Here are my thoughts on it:

    We were already having sex, and had been at it for a while, when he dozed off. He was still inside me. I didn’t force him inside me or do anything else than keep grinding a little. He got back to pretty quickly, I’d say in a manner of seconds not minutes, and kept going. As a matter of fact, when he came to, I had already stopped (and was plotting my escape from the situation I saw coming – and it did).

    I’d say his consent in this situation was pretty clear. And as we all know, rape is about non-consent, and not much else.

    So, here’s what I want to know: after I described many non-consensual acts that could or couldn’t be described as rape, why did you pick only on the one that wasn’t abusive to me? Did you want to make me feel bad? Did you want to dismiss all the abuse that has befallen me by showing me what I had done wrong?

    It’s interesting to me, how certain kinds of people do this. Like showing me that even I have faults and have hesitated on the edge of right and wrong could somehow just erase all the abuse I’ve faced. It doesn’t work like that.

  17. Skillet says:

    I wouldn’t imagine it’s easy, receiving…

    But it is special, and the ultimate surrender (speaking as a man, who loves penetrating his woman that way)👍

Your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s