My throat is sore. It’s pretty easy to guess where this is going. We had the most marvelous, mind-blowing and satifiying sex last night. And it didn’t include PIV*. It’s kind of a new thing for me, so bear with me, even if it’s old news for everyone else.
You might think that I would understand such a thing being bisexual and having had satisfying and gratifying relations with girls, which didn’t include even a hint of PIV. I have no aswer to that, except, I guess I’ve had a creepy double standard for that sort of thing. I’m fighting it off even as we speak. Though, I’m not the only one, and not even the only liberal feminist to have this problem, I can see the way it hurts me and my partner. (See especially the comments.)
That’s why I’m glad to have started this blog. Wonderboy’s taken a wonderful iniative after reading it. Oh yes. He felt left out and emotionally abandoned since I’d become so entwined with exploring my (or is it our?) sexuality in the web, so I let him read all of it. He liked the dynamic sex stories most. And those were the ones I was mostly worried about, even edited some out in the beginning. When he read, how I feel about what we do, it wasn’t really a surprise for him, because we talk about sex a lot. But I see now, it still had something pretty essential to offer. My unveiled insight. What I mean, when I say we talk about sex is really that we share our fears, emotions and fantasies with so much detail, there shouldn’t be any place for doubt. And there still always is.
I’m happy he read Past the Hurt, and it’s resulted in I change I’ve already seen in our dynamic. What a loaded word, but I guess it is accurate in this case. Because now it feels like there is a dynamic. He got more comfortable in taking charge the minute he read my thoughts. I guess it’s easier to express some of my submissive wishes here than in our bed. Maybe I am more frank, and say even the things I’m not sure I want, yet. The things I’m too afraid to admit I might want.
Wonderboy woke up yesterday and told me of a dream he had. In the dream he was pissing on me in front of a bunch of other guys. He was also manhandling me at the same time but couldn’t remember the spesifics. I got turned on just from hearing his dream. He said he was pretty happy what’s happened between us.
Usually these morning dreams are about me trying to find a bathroom in a strange place.
Quite a change it has been.
Wonderboy is much more severe in his actions now. Still loving, I’m not saying that, still vigilant when it comes to my feelings and well-being, but maybe a teency weensy bit uncommunicative. I mean, now he’s doing what he wants, and he’s not asking for my permission or negotiating everything with me in the moment. He’s just forcing me into all kinds of positions and actions, and expects me to do them.
It’s exactly what I want. But I didn’t know I did, not even a week or two ago. The changes have been so quick and forceful that it’s almost like an erupting volcano. I’m a bit worried what the flight arrengaments will be in our relationship. I know that many people, many of my friends and collegues, were stranded all over Europe.
Well, back to bed. Yesterday it all started out, well, I don’t even quite recall how it started. He was lubing his penis with a mix of shea butter and jojoba oil, which I made myself.** It’s the best lube that anyone can hope for. It’s completely synthetic free, you can eat it (even kids can, and if they’re really small like my friends’ kids, they will!) or use it as an all around mosturizer (as I do), it’s ecological and cheap. Wonderboy likes the new enhanced sensations it gives so much that we rarely have sex without it these days. First time we used it in fellatio he couldn’t catch his breath for the first couple of minutes, and later just said that he didn’t know it could feel so good. Just saying.
After the lube was on, and I was on from watching him play with his veiny and hard penis, he just said I want to fuck you in the throat. It had kind of been a tease and denial scene because I wasnt’ allowed to touch his penis, he was doing it, but I would have liked him to point that out. He took me by the hair and pushed me against his penis. So it went forth like the night before until suddenly he pinched my nose. And left his hand there. He was covering my nostrils while fucking me deep in my throat. I couldn’t breath. He wouldn’t stop. He let me have a second or two of air, and then off I went again. I gagged. I writhed.
I really liked it when I was struggling with his penis in my throat trying to get more air, and I seized the cock to pull it out or adjust, that he almost angrily pushed my hand aside.
Don’t you move. You’re not going anywhere, he said to me and tightened his grip on the back of my neck.
God, that feels so good.
All the while I was fighting with not getting enough air. I apologize in advance for the graphic nature of what’s about to come. The problem for me is, that when he’s fucking my throat, my nose starts to run. I don’t know if it’s something common or not, but it happens every time. Now, I don’t know if it’s his precum and my saliva and stuff coming through my nose because there’s no room for it in my throat, or if it’s something coming from my nose, but it pretty effectively stops me from breathing through my nose at all, anyway. Still, he was choosing to suffocate me in such a ferocious way, that I was about to come myself. Keep in mind that I hadn’t been touched at all during the whole act. I was just pleasuring him. He was hitting me in the face.
You slut. You whore. Your throat feels so good. Stay where you are. I’m gonna come.
So was I. He came, and I was so happy. So, so happy. And then he took hold of my throat. He pushed me on the bed, hit me in the face again and again, and put his finger inside me. And I came. I came and I came and I came. It was crazy. I could just hear the hissing sounds from the squirts. They were copious. I could feel the bed get wet. And then he went down on me. It was the most amazing sex ever.
I asked him to just put his lips against my pussy. He started to kiss my cunt sometimes accompanying the kiss with a little lick here and there.
Are you teasing me? I asked. He admitted, and never stopped what he was doing.
He teased me to the point that I was in the air pushing my hips against his ever evading mouth. I was shivering. I was hot. And I started to fantasize about him putting his dick against my cunt, pleasuring himself but not letting me touch it, not putting it inside of me. I came hard and heavy like the rain outside. I was spent in a way I never have. And I was happy in a way I never ever have before.
And now I’m trying to think up an excuse for my soar throat, because I have a birthday party to attend to today. I am so happy.
*Penis in vagina.
**Just put them together in the microwave, stir and let cool down. Voilá! The jojoba oil is there to make it easier to apply and the shea butter gives it richness needed for anal intercourse or the breaking and hard skin on your heels and elbows, for example. I use the natural shea butter that’s got nothing in it. It’s sold in these great lumps in ecological stores, and it’s really cheap and ample.