Feminist musings, Gender stereotypes, Volatile bodies

Orgasms – A Rare Flower Or A Comic Relief

There’s a really good discussion going on in the Pervocracy. Holly wrote picturesquely about her experience of orgasming, and made a point to add that it’s strange how studies and media still are only interested in the mystic female orgasm. Men are the icky tacky unsuitable comic relief as they ever were. Like being able to see the actual spurt of semen would somehow really be all there is to it.

In the comments to Holly’s excellent post I related that I would be ever so interested and enthusiastic to hear about male orgasm. I’ve never heard anything to the effect – men really trying to find words for what they feel, where, when and how they feel it. I’ve been fascinated with the various porn channel’s self infliction videos, if you get my drift, but that’s only the outside. The side that makes me feel pretty shallow and ashamed to be witnessing something so personal without any connection to the real person experiencing it.

I think there has to be some pretty mystic and deep shit going on inside there, one I can understand nothing about. I love to watch men have orgasms, because for a moment they are vulnerable. They are real. It’s impossible to keep a sarcastic act all the way throught orgasm, and it would be silly to try.

But seems that we are all, well, all the commenters in the Pervocracy, so intellectual, self-reflectionary and maybe even slightly too sensible. We never expected anyone to be interested in our orgasm, the way it builds, the emotions needed for it or the one’s that rise with it. If you guys cruised over here, please feel free to keep on desdribing your orgasms. I try to describe how I feel, as well, but I’m only getting there.

I know I’ve done a lot wrong, just by reading Mousie762’s description. I really want to treat men’s orgasms as wild and exotic flowers just as much as women’s. Because, to me, they are.

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3 thoughts on “Orgasms – A Rare Flower Or A Comic Relief

  1. mousie762 says:

    I got a WordPress account so I could thank you for asking, for being interested. It so often seems that no one cares, and you’re the one who spoke up.

  2. Oh, Mousie! I have no words. I do care. Thank you for recognicing that. I feel so much better, if I could give you a sense of acknowledgement and acceptance. There’s nothing more important than to feel accepted and appreciated. It feels awful if a part of who you are – the sexual part – is somehow reduced to a friction envoked orgasm machine and not the delicate emotional flower it is.

    I wish I could do more. I feel the world has done men (as well as women) a huge disservice, one I come across every day with Wonderboy. It never occurred to me before, and I feel I have to make amends. I never was really bad to anyone – if anything, I’ve been the one who’s been taken advantage of – but I hope I could’ve understood more deeply. I’d have been more me and less what I thought was expected of me – as in performance and not bonding and sharing.

    I am hugely touched that you got a WordPress account just for this. I hope you’ll come back and have conversations when I’ll be writing again. (Right now I have a pile of papers waiting to be read and analyzed, but maybe this weekend.) And I still think you opened my eyes. Thank you.

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