I can not stand to be directed at anything. I just can’t stand it. I’ll get angry in a nanosecond and it’s hard to snap me out of it. It was a huge battle to get where we are today, when I took everything that Wonderboy said as criticism. If he didn’t stay hard or if he asked me to do something else or stopped me from what I was doing. BANG! It was all over.
Nowadays I can handle gentle instructions because I know that I’m good to him and I want to be good to him – not just think I am. But it was a long and winding road and demanded us both to really be so spesific and honest about what we mean when we say things, what we want and need and what we don’t like. And it’s always best to start and finish with I love you and you are a great lover and that feels really good. Then you can add the inevitable but and ask for something else. It would be even hotter if you (insert desired action here).
I know it’s hard, but everybody is capable of it. You just have to learn a way to talk. There were ways for him to say things so I wouldn’t find them only criticising. But it demanded a lot of effort from both.
When we have sex, I don’t even think about it as directions anymore. It’s sexy to hear him say now suck my balls. How the hell could I know it otherwise, anyway? It’s the only way to better sex to give your partner indications what you want right now.
When I suck his cock, I usually do things he has asked from me in the past. I suck first, then deepthroat the cock a couple of times, then I might plop it out of my mouth and smear my lips on the mushroom top, licking it like a snake. I might gently move my hands to cup his balls and play with them, pull on them a bit and release them. Then I’d only suck on his scrumptious mushroom top, tease it with my tongue. Then probably change positions and suck his balls, first one by one and then both together.
He has said on numerous occasions Oh God, how did you get so good in this? It feels so good that I’m about to come, already. (The magic words for me, they are.) But it’s only because he’s guided me into what he really likes and how he likes it. It’s different for him, with me, because I rarely give instructions or if I have to do so, it’s already partly ruined. And it’s not only about wanting it to be naturally just right, but about my submissiveness. I want him to do what he likes, so I can sense it with all my senses, so I can see and hear and taste and feel him enjoying the things he does to me. That’s the key for me. So, if I’m only guiding his hand or asking him for something, the right ambience has already escaped.
The sucking is usually enough for him to get so excited he just wants to fuck me. It’s also usually enough for me. But sometimes, when it isn’t for any reason, I end up blaming him of being selfish and self-centered and not thinking about my happiness at all. Objectively, it does seem like I only pleasure him and he doesn’t do anything for me. But we have to take it into account that nothing he can do for me, even if he’s amazing with licking me and toying with me, can feel as good and exhilarating as pleasuring him.
I guess that’s just how my submission works. I love to pleasure him and that usually gets me turned on too. It gets me so turned on in fact that once I was about to come only from looking at him masturbate. He held my head against his thigh and touched himself, and it was so sexy and so beautiful. The same has happened numerous times, when I’ve had his cock in my throat and he’s pinched my nose or strangled my for a bit. And I think that once I did come, from just that, and he was astonished and asked me Did you come just now? because I’d let his cock bob out of my mouth and was vigorously spasming on the bed.
After sucking on his balls for a while, while he usually strokes his cock a bit, but usually can’t but give it a couple of strokes because otherwise he’d come, I usually raise y head and grin at him. It’s a question: is this enough? and we might exhange some words, toss around ideas for what’s to come next. Or if I don’t stop, (I just love to bring him to the brink of coming, like I didn’t know he was about to) at this point he usually gently moves me aside so he wouldn’t come and grins.
I’m going to fuck you.
And then it’s a flip and a push and his on top of me, his cock pressing against my pubic bone or flailing around, poking my thighs and catching my pussy from time to time as it pokes around.
That’s the best and easiest part. It’s been increasingly difficult for me to enjoy intercourse, the one thing I’ve craved with him more than anything. I don’t know why it’s so difficult now. Somehow my ablity to get excited from his excitement stops there. It didn’t used to, so I’m expecting it will come back. Now it’s only the words he gives me when he fucks me. The degrading words. The play.
I know what you want, dressed up like that. I know what girls like you want. Don’t play any games, I know you’re enjoying this. Stop whining! And then he would put his hand over my mouth, my whole face.
I’m gonna fuck you from behind and there’s nothing you can do about that.
The difficulty in this kind of play is of course my ability to control the action. That could be the leading cause (or not) for me not being completely able to enjoy everything. When the game is that my noes don’t count, it’s hard to bring my desires in to the play. I just usually go suddenly all normal and ask him, if he could fuck me the other way, or other times, I let out a hoarse whisper please touch my clitoris, and sometimes he abides by my wishes but sometimes he tosses me around, starts fucking me from the back and says that I don’t deserve it. And that’s even better.
But the thing is. Nothing always works. And that’s why we have to be able to communicate, always. Every time is different. It’s maybe sometimes not so hot to start negotiating in the middle of the act, but it will be even more not hot, if either of us is not enjoying. And the best sexual encounters we’ve ever had have had negotiating in the middle. Because those are the times, that we both have got something spesifically for that moment, something new and exciting and more than before.