Gender stereotypes, Hyper-Sexual, I am a girl, What Women Really Want, Wonderboy

From Behind

I was cuddling Wonderboy from behind. He had asked me to. He was supposed to leave already to a rehearsal, but he wanted to just lay there for a little while longer. We were naked, in bed and he asked me to throw a blanket over us too. I obliged, put my hand around him, scooted real close and started bucking my hips against his ass. And what do you know my hand grasped his cock and started to play with it. Oh yeah!

Hey, this is a good position! I exclaimed.

But we’re the wrong way around! he answered.

No, this is just perfect.

You want to fuck me up the ass? he asked and smiled that terrified smile he sometimes has that melts my heart.

Well, I didn’t mean that, but yeah, that’d be nice. Oooo yeeeeaaaah, baby, I say and grind my pussy against his buttcheeks. I kiss his back, plant little warm kisses in the vast desert of a back he has.

But it is kind of scary too, I start to wonder out loud. To put my dick in you. Because it’s really not my dick. I can’t feel with it. I look at him with concern, he turns his head to face mine and answers…

Especially if you do it when I’m sleeping.

We burst in to laugh and roll around for a bit.

Well, actually I happen to have one right here, I go through our toy box.

I got this for us for christmas, he says pretending to be me saying it and we laugh some more.

He is now gone and I watched some men masturbate the third time today. Ovulation be damned! Maybe I’ll manage a fourth time when he gets back.

But the thing is. It’s the third or fourth time pegging has come up. And it’s not just me bringing it up, either. I’m hopeful and a little scared.

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11 thoughts on “From Behind

  1. mousie762 says:

    Never tried that. It’s something I always wanted to do for a woman who was into it, but I never was especially interested for myself.

  2. Nice to hear you’d be “up” for it. 😉 I can understand it’s scary, especially for a man who is not submissive at all. But he does know about the pleasures of butt-licking and fingering so I guess it’s only a matter of time… Or do I only hope so? 🙂

  3. mousie762 says:

    Part of my particular flavor of submission is that I wish my partner would have kinks I’m not actually into so I could submit by satisfying them. I think when I do that, I grow to like them because of the association with making my partner happy, which is how I came to like cunnilingus so very much. (I do have hard limits though, such as I will not do orgasm denial.)

    Since Wonderboy isn’t submissive, and you sound like you’d like to do this, might be worth while thinking of a scenario you could tell him about where you could peg submissively. I’m not sure how that would go, but if anything pops into my head I’ll let you know.

  4. I’m pretty sure everything depends on the dynamic between us. Even though it might feel evidently submissive to be pegged, and I certainly feel that thrill of anal sex is partly in the ouchie-submissive side (in my point of view), I think that if we are willing and creative enough we can find a way to do it that fits into our dynamic. Because it works for us in so many levels.

    I kind of used to think, in an oddly twistedly traumatized way, that I was into dominating. I guess it was my way to legitimize and able the fantasies and thoughts – mostly maybe interest – in power play and physical restraint and hurt.

    So, I’m not sure if I would really be up for domination – as in being a switch. I did play that way once with my ex and I have to say – it didn’t wok for me. But not much worked in that relationship, so… How can I know?

    I did howerer like Holly’s thoughts (from the year 2008 – and she was what – 23 then? – I am coming so late into this) that it’s not what you are that engraved in to stone, it’s who you’re with and what kind of a relationship it turns out to be.

    (I’ll try to find the link for you, later.)

  5. mousie762 says:

    I’d say the way you could know is if you were sometimes into porn and erotica with a male submissive and a female dominant.

    Frankly I’m not into most of that; most of it goes places I don’t want to go. But some of it I like. (Or I write my own.)

    For me it’s about putting her on a pedestal, offering my service, pain, and humiliation to her exalted self, and being uplifted myself by receiving attentions. In my scenarios my pain and humiliation is all designed to exalt her rather than humiliate me. I don’t want to kiss her feet to show I am such a worm, I want to kiss her feet to show she is such a wonder.

    A pedestal is a lousy place to live, but it’s actually a pretty nice place to visit. It’s the same kind of motivation I want when I’m dominating.

  6. I’ve posted this link before, and I’ll post it again: Amber Rayne Psycho Handjob. Definately not safe for work.

    I do enjoy stuff like that. Being in control of his orgasms (in the moment), making him come too soon or teasing him with it. That’s insanely hot.

    I don’t really put so much meaning in my submission as you seem to be – and it sounds really beautiful, so please never stop. I think it’s more of a primal instinct that I let sweep over me. Of course it’s also an act of love and devotion, giving my self to him, freely, submitting to his will, his touch. But I feel I’m more of the object of desire and onwership. I am wanted and taken care of and my submission is just a side effect of that, I guess. It’s hard to describe, actually. I’ll probably have to write a post on that.

    And I don’t see your pedestalisation (eh?) as a problem if and when it’s just a play, and an erotic play at that.

  7. mousie762 says:

    I only watched a bit of it but right at this moment desire brings the pain of loss and I found I couldn’t continue; I watched a bit at the beginning and end to get a feel. So speaking to a few bits of it, it looks like an awesome experience for the guy. Despite the fact he’s tied and she’s trash-talking him, it doesn’t feel like submission to me; she’s doing all the work for his benefit. Some of the trash-talk doesn’t work for me. If you call me disgusting I will start crying the same way Holly will if you call her ugly; it hits a deep fear. The “saying please to a woman” thing doesn’t work, I don’t think it should be embarrassing. In general I don’t want to be put down, I want to lift my partner up.

    Being in control of his orgasms (in the moment), making him come too soon or teasing him with it.

    It’s fantastic to hear you say you enjoy stuff like that. I tried to get my wife give me long, teasing handjobs, but it was too much work. I tried to do things like that for her, but she’d get impatient. So it’s fantastic to hear a woman say she enjoys doing it.

  8. It’s fantastic to hear you say you enjoy stuff like that. I tried to get my wife give me long, teasing handjobs, but it was too much work. I tried to do things like that for her, but she’d get impatient. So it’s fantastic to hear a woman say she enjoys doing it.

    I would go even further and say I get off on it. It’s the major turn-on button I have, the greatest, most used, and most significant. See, I didn’t really (at all) like the woman’s trash talking. I can’t take that either, or do it, or come to think of – don’t even want to hear it and not only because it sounds so acted and forced. But I had to keep the sound on because what truly gets me off is the sound of the man’s enjoyment. I think that is neither submissive nor dominant, it’s just a sexual wiring (I’d wager pretty usual, but who knows, and maybe it’s more pronounced in me).

    I’m with you on the “it shouldn’t be embarassing”. We were talking about me crawling in front of Wonderboy earlier today and both of us got excited. (Which was kind of new.) But there is no “will you love me more if I crawl, will you make me beg and laugh at me for doing it?” No. If it is ever mentioned outside the occasion it should be in a “hrr, you were so hot down there” kind of way and not in any other.

  9. I only watched a bit of it but right at this moment desire brings the pain of loss and I found I couldn’t continue

    I feel like I cannot give enough empathy when I read you say stuff like this. I know exactly how you feel. I… I just want to say that I’m hearing you. All those lame things I could say about it getting better, well, I’m sure it will, but it still hurts. I’m happy if I can give you any consolation or hope for a better future and a relationship.

    Sooo – you’d better start hanging out with the artistic kind? 🙂 That’s where I’m from.

  10. mousie762 says:

    It’s the major turn-on button I have, the greatest, most used, and most significant.

    I’m with you there. The only bad thing about cunnilingus to me is that I can’t watch her face. Like I lot of guys, I taught myself to masturbate silently as an adolescent, but taught myself to make noise again when I married so she could hear what she was doing for me.

    Often I like a little bit of trash talk, but only of a certain fairly mild kind. I like to be called “dirty boy”, in a tone of voice that makes “dirty” a good thing. It’s like we’ve talked about in other contexts, it takes the thing I’m afraid of (my sexuality being disgusting) and makes it part of my pleasure. I like questions or interactions that reinforce the submissive play; like “you like this, don’t you?” during cunnilingus or a footjob to make me say yes, or “I could stop” to make me beg please continue.

    I love teasing but hate denial because teasing assuages the pain of not getting enough sex (which has been the case for me always), but denial is the actual pain. It’s like the difference between a lover’s spank and an abuser’s slap.

    All those lame things I could say Something I’m learning from this is that the things you might think are lame aren’t. It means so much knowing that someone hears me, and care. You do give me consolation but especially hope; hearing about both your happinesses, and the sadnesses you get past.

    I’ve hung out with the artistic kind, and you stand out there too. (When I entered college I was undecided between Fine Arts and Comp Sci majors.) I’m not too worried about where to look yet; it’s not going to be time to start looking for a while. I’ve got healing to do on my own.

  11. Something I’m learning from this is that the things you might think are lame aren’t. It means so much knowing that someone hears me, and care.

    Then I’ll say them: It will get better. When you’re out of the woods, you’ll find someone who deserves you and can love you for who you are. I’m sure of it. It will get easier. The past won’t seem so important anymore, the old pains will only remind you of the past, not take you with them. You will grow to accept that the woman you chose might have been wrong, bad for you, abusive, manipulative, whatever it was, truly, that set you apart. It has been really painful for me to admit to myself that I chose the abusive persons with whom I’ve spent most of my life with. I had to first forgive myself before I could start blaming them for what they did – and be set free of them. You will learn how good it is to be free to find a person who can stand with you, take care of you and be taken care of.

    I’ve hung out with the artistic kind, and you stand out there too.

    This obviously brushes my ego. Everybody wants to be special, don’t they?

    I dunno, you might be right. Maybe it’s not about the place, or even the circle (of friends). Maybe it’s just compatibility.

    You do give me consolation but especially hope; hearing about both your happinesses, and the sadnesses you get past.

    That is, oddly enough, really consoling to me. The sadnesses have been great at times and I do carry the scars still. I have every trust in my relationship, in Wonderboy and in our love. But sometimes it’s good to be reminded that the work we’ve put into this hasn’t gone to waste.

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