Commercialism, Ecological stuff

Lube Hint

I’m one of those allergic hippies, who doesn’t like to put stuff on my skin or orifices that isn’t from natural origins. We’ve tried every lube on the market. KY feels cold, wears out and gives me this odd sensation of burning. Water based lubes are useless, because they fade so quickly, and we haven’t found an oily one that wouldn’t go sticky-gooey-gluing us together-sticky.

Shea butter is the best lube and moisturizer we’ve come up with this far. It’s a little clunky and you have to warm it in your hands first, so we added some jojoba oil I use for face care. It’s perfect.

I’ve mentioned it before, but the first time we used it, when I was sucking Wonderboy’s cock, he kept saying “I can’t believe how good this feels”. He was gone in minutes, and that’s not usual. It really just does feel like my own juices, so it’s not that invasive to add some of it during or before sex. Earlier I sometimes felt insulted and insufficient, when Wonderboy reached for the lubes, (and he usually mixed them all good, because none of them were really good) and I’ve come to think it was partly because they stang me or felt awful in some other ways.

I especially recommend shea butter for ass play. It gives such a butter-like protection. Nothing tears, and I can ask for harder and harder, which I like and have orgasms from, but it used to be too painful.

Incidently, raw shea butter is sold in organic and eco friendly shops and costs the third of what a decent lube would. A lump of it also keeps in the fridge for a year – and it will probably be enough for a year, too!

The kinkiest part is that you can still use it for skincare too. When we were watching a movie in bed yesterday (Lord of the Rings because it’s Christmas!) I asked Wonderboy to pass me the lube. He was baffled at first as to what I would use it to do, but then realized. Oh yeah, here you go. I dabbed some on the freeze spots on my face and we continued to watch the movie and drink beer. That’s a good lube, epecially if you’re so lazy you wouldn’t get out of bed to moisturize your face. Perfect.

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15 thoughts on “Lube Hint

  1. mousie762 says:

    Do you happen to know of a good massage oil base? I generally prefer almond oil, because it’s fairly light and doesn’t leave the massagee greasy, but I have a friend who’s allergic. I’ve been thinking grapeseed.

  2. I think I’d use jojoba oil for that too. We’ve used it, but the massage we do is not professional or very intensive, so considering your martial arts hobby, I’m not sure if it would be enough. It’s much like almond oil, though, and it has good side effects like healing breeze burns and helping with psoriasis. I have never tried grapeseed!

  3. jnakabb says:

    You can also try cold-pressed apricot oil (I think it’s extracted from the kernel or something). It’s a lot like almond oil and is slightly scented from its fruit-based origins.

  4. Jnakabb: Is that for just massage or for lube also? I’ve never even seen it sold, but it sounds nice! I like apricots.

    I also sometimes use virgin coconut oil for skin *and* in food. It’s nice to be able to use oils for all kinds of things.

  5. jnakabb says:

    We use it for massage, but it certainly gets things moving as a lube as well (don’t know how long it retains its viscosity as a lube as everything else tends to get pretty slippery before long…).

    During massage, it does get absorbed into the skin, like a moisturizer, so may need topping up, but at least doesn’t leave the massagee (previously the massagand ? the massaged one ?) feeling greasy.

    Food oils are definitely the way to go for versatility. I suggest keeping bottles in separate locations, just to be sure for hygiene’s sake. I think we bought ours from an organic food shop.

  6. Sounds good to me! I’ll look it up next time I’m going to a store. (You got me with the ortography. I’d probably go around and just say the one being massaged. :))

    Oh, and I heard through the grapewine that coconut oil can act as a spermicide, so I wouldn’t recommend it as a lube to any who want children. (Right now.) But I wouldn’t trust on its magic powers either. I do feel a little icky to put anything that can go rancid in my vagina, so I don’t use olive oil or even coconut oil as a lube.

  7. mousie762 says:

    Apricot oil sounds good. I tend to like food oils because they are of very high quality at a good price; and something that needs to be occasionally reapplied instead of a greasy feel is just what I’m looking for.

    I’m not sure there is any danger with good food oils in your vagina; since you absorb them through the skin on your back I would expect that they would be absorbed much faster through your vagina. There’s a mention of the safety of virgin coconut oil as a sex lube here, but I also found a caution here, which is unclearly written; the caution it may just apply to petroleum jelly.

  8. Mousie, thanks for the links.

    Yeast infection is the first thing in my mind, but there are others. It’s just that there’s no way to get the oils out after they’re in, and vagina is full of its own flora. I’d just err on the side of caution here, rather than have bacteria making my life difficult.

    There was a research on the coconut oil’s possible contraceptive effects, but I haven’t seen it; my sister reported it to me, because we’re trying for a baby. It might not be a bad thing for anyone other than us.

    I think I’d try coconut oil in the lube if I didn’t feel we already found the perfect mix.

  9. This was immensely helpful, thanks jnakabb!

    And me too – I’m really surprised that amaretto is actually based on apricot kerlel oil! Who’d have thought!

  10. jnakabb says:

    Good luck with the baby-making, Rogue.

    It took us 10 years, with lots of fun along the way – a hard job, but someone has to do it !

    Best wishes to you and Wonderboy for the New Year.

  11. Wow – that is some commitment! Glad that you didn’t give up! Thank you for your wishes, they are welcomed and needed.

    Have a really happy New Year, you and your family!

  12. jnakabb says:

    A few experiences to share from our baby-making successes :
    Aim to have sex every 2-3 days between days 8 and 14 (after the morning you wake up with your period). I’m sure you’ll find an excuse to do so !
    It’s probably more efficient for Wonderboy to ejaculate at about the same frequency to “flush out his tubes” and give him time to build up a small reserve for next time.
    Theoretically, he should come first, in missionary position, so your cervix can dip in the “soup” when you come. So saying, I’m damned sure my wife was first with the kids we conceived and bore – and that she was on top !

    Hope things go well, and remember to have fun out there ! The relationship is between you and him – children are bonus expressions of your love.

  13. This is so nice of you, Jnakabb! We are already doing most of the things you suggest – I’ve had time to read about it. I did get pregnant once already but it ended up in miscarriage. That time we had passionate sex doggie style, if I remember correctly, and I came first. It was also 5 days before my calculated ovulation (so, the 14th day). 🙂

    It’s really funny that you should have a similar experience… Wonderboy was even worried that his semen woul be forced out, because my orgasms make my vagina pulse so violently and the sperm always leaks out with the pulses.

    That being said I’m trying really hard not to think about it all the time, and not to organize our whole sex life. It makes me really happy though that nowadays Wonderboy can say stuff like “Okay – let’s make babies, I know you’ll like that” and it’s all so normal and happy.

    We’re trying to have fun. But I still get really sad every month on the 27th-30th day. Well, a new month, a new opportunity, right?

  14. jnakabb says:

    Hmm, you have a 30-ish day cycle, so probably ovulate on or before the 15th. Peak sex time would be around day 12 (I think). However, none of us are machines and baby-making is a possible consequence of sex. Statistically, sexually active people NOT using contraception have about a 15-20% chance of falling pregnant in any given month. You are advised to consult a doctor if you haven’t fallen pregnant in about 18 months.

    So sad to hear of the miscarriage, but at least it means that all your bits fit together okay. We had 10 years of infertility, then 5 pregnancies over 5 years (go figure), of which the first and last produced our kids and 3 miscarriages in between. I’ve since had a vasectomy – neither of us can face the heartbreak of miscarriages or the rigours and costs of raising more young-uns.

    We investigated adoption and also had a round of IVF with ICSI (our boys were conceived naturally in the months following unsuccessful embryo transfers – maybe my wife’s body saying ” Don’t stick those needles in me again”.

    Good luck my friend. Thumbs up to Wonderboy. If the worst come to the worst, you still have each other, which is the reason you married. Enjoy it and grow together – it’ll make you a better team if and when you do bring up children.

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