I don’t think sexuality is something I can ever have pinned down. Clarisse made me realize how much of sex easily becomes a shell or a show. And today, making love, I also noticed something I already knew. Good role playing is essential for a working sex life. I’m threading the line of exaggerating and plain old cheating.
When we are making love, I’m more than happy to say You can’t take my panties of you know, it’s not allowed. I’m confident in myself, and confident in what’s going to happen. I believe now that I have a say on it. But it was all very sexy, very normal. There’s an undercurrent of d/s, and sometimes it only comes to life in small gestures and dialogues between us.
I can’t have full understanding or certainty, if I’m only measuring my sexuality in terms of performance. If I’m only looking for a category to cage me. Because it’s safer than being always on the lookout, always uncertain. Well, I believe this is it. Threading the lines. I just have to believe that what fulfills me, is okay, whatever category it happens to fit in. Even if I’m writing a BDSM oriented blog. The category always fails.
Ps. B-bye! Leaving for a vacation, now! Have fun.