Hyper-Sexual, I am a girl, Love, Wonderboy

No Sex – But a Lot of Annoyances

Time to face the facts. I’ve been really irritated. I haven’t wanted to cuddle or to be close to Wonderboy. He’s been defensive, angry about everything and anything, not directly at me as is his passive aggressive way, but still I’ve been the one facing his sullen face.

In the morning he suddenly jumped out of bed, ran to the computer, slammed doors as he went and then left in a huff to go to the pharmacy. He hadn’t slept very well, because of the hey fever. My morning didn’t start all that well, when I had the huff and puff around me and suddenly gone. He could’ve, you know, explained what he was going to do, but instead he decided to just create this very hostile atmosphere, and at the time I had no idea why.

I know he had to work especially late this week. I know he hasn’t been sleeping too well. I know his cock has been… wounded. I’ve been very understanding. I haven’t made comments, tried to seduce him anyway and I’ve been trying to make things easier for him. I made us dinner, cleaned up a bit, gave him my allergy medicine (prescription, I might add!) and have encouraged him to take a nap, play video games, buy chocolate – whatever makes him happy. I’ve been trying to cope on my own, alone, without any intimacy, understanding or discussion.

Why is he directing his anger and frustration to me?

My car just broke down. Before that he kinda drove too close to a wall and scratched my car. When I told him that, he just denied it and became angry because of the accusation. I didn’t even express any discontent or anger, because of it – and that would’ve been very understandable! I feel like I have to be so fucking understanding that there’s no room for any discontent on my part.

This has gone far enough.

I don’t even want to touch him. When he came behind me to hug me, I just waited when will it be over. That’s what you get from being unhappy, complaining and passive aggressive all the fucking time. Sorry for the language, I’m just a little frustrated myself.

It’s been almost two week since we fucked decently. His cock got busted because we fucked too ruff, he says. I suspect that having his sperm tested has something to do with his sudden inability to come inside me. He didn’t have any trouble masturbating, when I told him he should, because he just couldn’t come with me. He confessed that the amount of sperm in the cup looked measly. He also confessed later that he thought now that us not getting pregnant was his fault. The conversation has gone no further although I’ve tried to talk about it a couple of times. He says our situation (no sex) and his feelings on being able to have children have nothing to do with each other. Hou-key… What can you say to that?

I’ve watch all the porn I can watch. I’m so angry at him at this point for not even wanting to have sex with me that I’m plotting not succumbing, when his needs to arise. I know I won’t, and I know it’s childish, but what else can I do? I feel like I’ve done all the right things and nothing has changed.

Tomorrow we’ll leave to my dad’s summer cottage and will sleep with relatives in the same room. Wonderboy is taking a nap now.

I’m tired too! I’m in need of a hug and intimacy and sexual gratification or at least sexual bonding in one way or another!

And here I am – writing this blog.

Yay for me and my Friday night.

PS. I should probably add that these almost two weeks just happened to happen very accurately at the time of my ovulation. But no worries – there’s 12 changes in a year and that was just one of them!

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15 thoughts on “No Sex – But a Lot of Annoyances

  1. Great post, very honest. I can completely understand where you are coming from and your frustration. Hope it all works out for you two.

    BTW, are you two…married… dating…?

  2. Thanks. It means a lot to hear that.

    As it says on my short bio up there we’re happily and monogamously married.

    I’m sure things will turn around, they always have. It’s just sometimes hard to deal with a lot of anxiety at the same time.

  3. Minx acts similar when he’s cranky, having a bad day, or whatever.

    My advice to you (not that you asked for it) is that if you act sweet toward Wonderboy when he’s being an ass, you’re basically rewarding him for bad behaviour. Better to tell him, as calmly as possible, “Listen: I love you, and I understand that you’re going through a rough time lately, but you’re being a prick to me and I don’t deserve that. When you’re ready to treat me like a human being again, I’ll be happy to help you talk out your bad feelings and comfort you. Until then, I’m gonna be in the other room [or taking a walk, or whatever].” Then leave him alone to stew for a while. He’ll probably realize very quickly that it’s more productive to have you with him than against him.

  4. I’m always waiting in the hope I find something constructive and useful to say, and then not finding anything. I wish you the best.

  5. Thank you, PC, that is very good advice. You’re absolutely right about rewarding him. It’s not how I want him to act, so why am I making it as easy as possible for him? Smoothing the way of tantrums and ass-hattery just like my mother did and tought us to, too. (Well, there’s the answer to why.) Next time he gets that way, I try to keep your words in mind. Because… it’s not like he’s gonna abandon me for not being rosey enough for him, if he’s a prick himself. Probably some deep rooted fear lingering in me, still. I can’t help but react in a smoothing diplomatic way, an then my feelings go unnoticed. So typical female behaviour, though. What we’re tought to do -think of others before yourself. It’s hard to let go and feel any selfworth without it.

  6. Thanks Mousie. I appreciate you commenting anyway, so I know you’re there, thinking about it. Things are already looking up. I’ll tell you all about it later.

  7. jnakabb says:

    You can discuss things alter and advise that he needs to tell you if he needs space or whatever. If it were me (instead of Wonderboy), I’d finally make it to a space where I could express that I was in a thought-constrained place, but really appreciate the company (or that I need to get a little time and space to think, if that was what I needed). The whole “grumpy bear” thing tends to be counter-productive.

    Hypothetically speaking, of course ;P

    the amount of sperm in the cup looked measly
    Yep, that can be somewhat humbling. I’ve mentioned before just how far it can go, though !

  8. jnakabb says:

    … back again

    directing his anger and frustration to me
    You’ll probably find that the huff and puff around me and suddenly gone was his attempt at diverting his discomfort elsewhere (hayfever really “gets up your nose” and in your eyes and …)

    thought now that us not getting pregnant was his fault
    This can be incredibly emasculating, whether or not it’s true and whether or not he’s desperate for kids. He’ll be blaming himself for your sorrow. Every month.

    I don’t even want to touch him…plotting not succumbing, when his needs to arise…I’m in need of a hug and intimacy and sexual gratification
    and
    a little frustrated…I know it’s childish
    Yep, sounds like frustration to me. Best of luck working things out, although maybe not while in the same room as relatives…

  9. Hypothetically speaking, of course ;P

    You’re funny.

    And yeah. You’re probably right too. It would do us, well him actually, to talk about his grumpy behaviour when he’s not actually grumpy. He seems to be acting ut like this once in a while, and it always strikes me really hard – I’ve done nothing to deserve it. It’s okay if he needs space, though he always seems to want to cuddle and keep close to me even if he’s in a bad mood… Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe he doesn’t know how to take the space. And that it’s safe for him.

    We’ll figure it out.

  10. jnakabb says:

    Um, I think a follow-up comment (about 10 minutes after the first) may have been spam-queued (had lots of citations and ellipses).

    Been happening a lot recently. Too many dots ?

  11. directing his anger and frustration to me
    You’ll probably find that the huff and puff around me and suddenly gone was his attempt at diverting his discomfort elsewhere (hayfever really “gets up your nose” and in your eyes and …)

    The problem isn’t that he leaves or does things I’d take as anger or frustration. The problem is he doesn’t communicate. He only serves himself. And he’s incredibly easily offended, by the way, if I act as he does. So, it’s not like I haven’t have had to (can I even say that?) learn the exact same thing. Communicate!

    Urgh.

  12. Jnakabb,

    thought now that us not getting pregnant was his fault
    This can be incredibly emasculating, whether or not it’s true and whether or not he’s desperate for kids. He’ll be blaming himself for your sorrow. Every month.

    I have to think about this. I’ll get back on it, when I’m not crying my eyes out.

  13. jnakabb says:

    Sorry, Rogue. *hugs*

    I’ll get back to you later, when we’ve had/got time (and space) to collect our thoughts. You … need to get some sleep (and I didn’t get enough).

    haven’t have had to


    I think the negation takes precedence over the possessive, so would have been sufficent as : “haven’t had to”

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