When we were down with the first round of domestic servitude, or whatever you want to call it, Wonderboy couldn’t stop smiling. He gets like that a lot and it’s always something forbidden, sexy or kinky. So, of course I ask and beg him to tell me. What are you thinking?
And he says, I’m just thinking, how I will test your boundaries. What I’ll put you through.
We only just ever did this for the first time, and he’s already conniving testing my boundaries! I felt week from the knees, a little fidgety but also anxious to know, to get there. What could he have in mind?
When we were talking about, how we can separate play from life, turned out we can’t, because. Well… (I’m getting turned on just thinking about this conversation!)
I said, You can just ask me, if I want to play. Some day might be I that I don’t.
And, if you don’t, he added in a suggesting way and neither of us could hold our evil grins for a long time.
You’ll make me, I sighed from happiness.
Can’t I have a safe place? No, I can’t. Because I want to surrender. I need to surrender to him. He is a gentle and loving man. If he would see me in real distress, anxious, he’d deal with it. He’d help me. He wouldn’t and probably couldn’t start demanding services from me. But it’s not my decision. I trust him to make the right one.
In the comments of my other post, I argued that this is all about equality in the heart of things. What Feministsub wrote about us seeing equality in domestic partnership’s as a virtue and as the only way, didn’t sink in until now. If they’re there yet. It’s not in fact the only way, but the only way we can morally accept.
Surrendering to Wonderboy is wonderful, because I get to surrender the control. People have pointed out that it’s the feeling loved, cared for that’s important, not how you do it. Equality is only good or right, if it what makes you happy. But we’ve been raised in a time, where women are struggling to get away from home, be free from their husband’s financial domination. It’s probably not the best of times to start threading the lines of such a power play. It most certainly is not the easiest time for it.
But what is it that makes this kinky? What is it that makes this transgressive? Why it’s the letting go of some of the equality of course. It wouldn’t be a turn on and it wouldn’t be a need, if it was equal as usual. The thing that is powerful is giving my power for him to use. I just have to deal with it in thought just as well as in actions…
You see, when Wonderboy came home today, I said to him that I didn’t want to have sex. But it’d be okay, if he wanted to dominate me.
So, theoritcally speaking, he said, would you be willing to lick me, even if you didn’t want sex? I could lick you, he assured.
I don’t want anything for myself. That’s what I meant.
I’m just asking to make these things clear, he added, because it’s such a rare thing.
Well, because we’re talking theoretically here, I answered, I’d have to say that this might be a sort of experiment. That the other one comes and the other one doesn’t.
Just theoretically speaking.
And so again the happy couple spent eons and eons just smiling stupidly at each other and then kissing and hugging.
It’s all equal, if the other one comes and the other one doesn’t! See… It’s like this… I mean, you know…
I guess it’s not. And that’s why it’s hot.