BDSM, Coming out, Craving for more, Fantasies, Love, Male Lead Relationship stuff, Sex stories, Submissive tendencies, Wonderboy

Protocol

I think you can call it protocol, when it’s something we’ve decided that I will have to do, and we abide by it. Right? If not, let me know. It’s hard to talk about this thing, probably only because I don’t want to call it what it is.

And why is that, Rogue Bambi? Why do you hesitate to talk about something that you obviously enjoy tremendously doing?

That’s a tricky one. Well. For one I feel the impossible weight of calling this thing A Male Lead Relationship dragging me down. I’m not ready to let go of the idea of equality in decision making and earning and other aspects I can’t think of right now. I can and do want to be subjected to my wonderful Wonderboy’s dominion, (heh) but for now it’s mostly sex related. It’s not A Male Lead Relationship, it’s A Male Lead Sex Life. The difference is vast, isn’t it?

For me, though, it’s important to feel being in control of some things. Totally in control. I will surrender none of my power in my career, and actually that all has shot trough the roof now that I’ve followed my gut feeling and faced my need to be in this sort of a relationship thing. I’m not struggling so much with everything else. I have no explanations, it’s just an observation. I’m more assertive and sure of myself outside the bedroom now. I get my fair share of being cared for, ordered and loved. I can make decisions about everything else much more easily, because sometimes, lots of times, I get to surrender.

Okay, so, to the subject at hand. We have some protocol in work as we speak. Isn’t it exciting? I know it is for me.

1. I have to ask permission to play with myself.

I failed at this already this week, when I was in a hurry and this incest play (!) we’d done just kept me so revved up I had to do something about it. He was at work and hadn’t answered to my earlier message so I decided (see!) to do it anyway in fear of not getting his word in time. When I told him, he was all mellow and just told me that it happens sometimes. We were cuddling at the time, he was on top of me, and I just kept looking at his eyes, pleading for a punishment. Because if he wouldn’t punish me, what difference would it make? How would I know that it was as important to him as to me that I respected his word over my desire? I knew this was it. Was he going to keep this going, or was this just some game for a short while like before?

And then he slapped me pretty hard four times on the ass and said that I shouldn’t do a thing like that. I should ask him first. Still evolving, still finding the balance. I want him to care. I want him to punish me. I want him to tell me that he owns me and I have no right to tamper with his possession like that. But I guess it’s too soon.

He did make another account for my computer so I could save all the bookmarks and links of porn that get me going. He also uploaded a new comic reader application and created a joint folder for our computers where we can both drop good sexy stuff in. So, it will be our thing, and if either one masturbates, it will still be our thing.

2. I will follow his direct orders.

He’s done it only a couple times, but has always taken his words back, when I’ve asked, Is this really something you want me to do? He’s made some silly ass suggestions, but it is kind of maybe not hot but fun having to face the suggestions and standing my ground. If this is what you command, I will do it. You do realize that? And then he goes all, nah – I’m kidding!

Mostly his commands are good. Once he ordered me to go to bed, because I was so sleepy already, but didn’t want to go to bed yet. I felt so loved, when he did it, and it wasn’t in any way a particular thing. It’s just he took care of me, he noticed me and he evaluated my state and gave an order in accordance to that. That’s the thing with this thing, he has to be vigilant.

3. I can not order him around anymore. At all. I can ask and I can try to persuade, but I can not expect him to yeald to my words.

I have, twice, said No masturbating! when he’s left the room to go do something by himself. And he’s answered with Do you think you can make commands on me? Don’t play with fire girl, I’ll have to punish you otherwise.

But… Knowing me so well he did ask me today, what I’d say, if he’d want to play with himself. He’s sick and on sick leave, so I asked him, if he’s so sick he couldn’t play with me anyway and he answered yes. So of course I said it’d be nice, if he’d play with himself then. But seeing as I was working in the next room and the door was open between us I suggested he tell me, if he starts playing and that way I can let him play in peace.

Later he confessed, angry and frustrated my little feverish boy, that he couldn’t play, because he’s so sick. But he had tried. Without saying anything! He just didn’t want to say anything, because he wasn’t sure, if he could do it. And he couldn’t. This has also been the major reason for him to masturbate and not initiate something with me in the past. I’m mostly always up for a play session or fuck, and sometimes it’s but a dampen on my spirit when I’ve learned that he’s been wanking behind my back even though I fould’ve liked nothing more than to give him a blowjob.

One of the valuable things for us in this new dynamic is that he’s learned that he can always, always initiate play with me. Actually, it’s not so much initiating I guess, because he only commands. Okay now, go and take your clothes off and wait for me in bed. He has also learned that he can be tired, not hard enough, in need of certain stimuli I can’t give – and he’ll still have it all playing with me. Because I am his to command. There’s nothing really he can do by himself that he can’t do with me. Which was proved today.

After swearing he’d definately masturbate after lunch, we sat on the balcony drinking a glass of wine, and he kept looking at my boobs and smiling evily. Wonderboy never looks at my boobs. Never. Except in bed of course. So this is also new entitled behaviour brought forth by our dynamic. I love it. When we got inside he just said plainly Take off your clothes and come to bed. There he made me massage his cock with oil a bit, while he slapped my tits, which he also told me to oil up good, and finger-fucked me. I came, pretty out of the blue, squirted and all, and it was all because he kept slapping my tits so hard.

And because. I hadn’t been at all in the mood and I’d told this to him while having lunch. He knew I didn’t want to have sex. And he decided to get it anyway and commanded me to.

I… I… Yeah. So that’s how it works. For me anyway. And for now.

But then… then. He straddled me and I thought he was going to fuck me with the precum oozing from his cock and entwining us together. But he trew my legs between his and really straddled me. He put my arms so that my tits were up and close together and started to fuck them. And like once before he started to give me lines to deliver.

Beg me to fuck your tits.

And I begged.

I want to come on your face. He’s never done it. He’s said he wants to once or twice the first years, but didn’t do it. Now I knew he was serious, so close to my face, my open mouth and my pretty white skin. I made a scared face to please him. I am a good girl after all. It gave him the kicks I thought it would.

Ask me to come on your face, he demanded.

I did, of course, as I was told. He complied immediately. I just have to gather that it’s insanely hot for him to make me ask for something degrading like that, because this is the second time he’s come on my word.

And he just kept on coming. I could feel five, six ridiculously pouring spurts on my face, running down and flowing over me like nobody’s business. When I though it was safe and opened my eyes, which were also in come, he still kept on going. Damn. So hot.

When he was finally done, (Not finally like that, because I didn’t want it to stop.) I said Hit me. I think of it as begging, not as commanding, but I probably said it like that. He hit me on my face, then on my tits and back on my face again. I felt degraded and I needed to feel more. I needed for him to underline it. I needed to feel not only used but also… not punished but… Forced. I needed it. If he hadn’t hit me, it would’ve been like not giving me an orgasm after he has had his. After the fifth smack on my face, he was truly hitting me harder than before, I came. I squirted all over the bed. He was there, straddling my tummy, and nothing was touching me anywhere near my erogenous zones. I was just… in sub space.

Later I had to ask permission to play a little, because I was reading Kitty Thomas’ Tender mercies* and I just got to the point where Asher contemplates, how he needs to own the woman. There’s something there in owning that just swoons me. I wanted to kneel in front of him when I went to ask, but he was busy doing his own things and I just felt silly about asking him altogether, so I didn’t. But I did ask and he awarded me with this approval in his smile and his kiss. Yes you can. Good of you to ask. Now go and play.

But while making love (I can too call it that!) Wonderboy owned me and marked me and then made me face corporeal punishment to show me he could force me. I loved what he did to me. I didn’t actually want any of it. I would never have written a scene like that, if it was up to me. But it’s his desire and his desire to command me that makes me hot. Evidently even a sick Wonderboy will have sex with me, because he’s getting all his fantasies fullfilled. It’s just too hot to pass up.

In the balcony I remembered, why I hadn’t masturbated in such a long time, he said later, after coming on my face, after slapping me to oblivion. You’re just so hot nowadays. Probably because you’ve bee working out so much. I just can’t keep my hands of you.

I’ve started to wear this little black string around my neck. Like the ones people put silly things like their initials dangling from. It’s what gets his attention. It’s what made him hot in the balcony, and after gazing at it, he started to look at my boobs. It’s a symbol for what we have going on.

It’s symbolic, isn’t it? I asked.

I like symbols, he said.

*Thank you for the recommendation Feministsub! And everybody, if you don’t have a Kindle, you can upload all the ebooks and read them on your browser! This was news to me. Tender mercies cost I think 5 euros and I got to read it right away, although I’m still not finished.

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13 thoughts on “Protocol

  1. At first I thought it was short stories and was somewhat taken aback with the first one ending on dying… But then I kept on reading and realized it was just the base for the real story. So, yeah. I seem to be a sucker for that kind of dynamic. Rowr. *Blushing*

  2. Isn’t Asher dreamy? sigh Such a hot combination of nurturing tenderness and selfish sadism.

    You’ll like the rest of her stuff, too (well, she has two new novellas I’m not crazy about, but her first three are all great). And check out Annabel Joseph too.

    That’s interesting that WB had never come on your face before. It seems so funny to me now that it’s seen as being degrading – I mean, isn’t that really insulting to men? “You are so horrible that the substance you create when you are in ecstasy is inherently insulting to women.” But then, if it weren’t for society telling us these things were degrading, then how else would we be able to get off on feeling degraded? So I guess I should be thankful! 😉

  3. I mean, isn’t that really insulting to men? “You are so horrible that the substance you create when you are in ecstasy is inherently insulting to women.”

    OMG, my thoughts exactly. I tried to pinpoint today what I actually felt during him coming onto my face, and thought the act itself was kind of wonderful. It was very arousing to feel the quantity and flow of his ejaculate. Keep in mind that this is my big kink, men coming unconrtollably. And it was on my face. That was… I think more of a ode to my beauty and desirability. It didn’t actually feel degrading. But the other stuff, the way he commanded me to ask for it and what happpened before, and especially after, when he wiped my face roughly with his hands. That was degrading. I wanted to feel forced to do it in hindsight. And he did a good job delivering that with his hits and words.

    He hasn’t come on my face before, because despite trying or saying he will, he’s always opted for the much more pleasurable end. Mouth, cunt, ass… And maybe it’s been kind of a symbolic act for him. I mean, it’s all we ever see on porn, ain’t it? Maybe he was worried how he’d compare. Maybe he also worried, how I would really take it. If I hated his come and would be all *ewww* about it. I can understand that that would be hard to handle.

    And Asher. Omg. I love how selfish he is and how he keeps battling with himself for wanting to hurt the woman and enjoying the fear. It makes my heart stop beating, when he decides, always!, that well, she is mine.

  4. I guess to me (and to other people who feel facials are degrading) semen is kind of a waste material. Not as waste-y as piss or shit, but waste nonetheless. Plus, shooting it in my face indicates a disregard for my comfort – it could sting my eyes, get in my nose and hamper my breathing, or get in my mouth (and I don’t like the taste). Face shots feel extremely degrading to me and I’ve never let anyone do that (but I pass no judgment on those who enjoy it).

    Having said that, I do love for Minx to come on any other part of me (except within impregnating distance of my vagina). Like you said, Rogue, it’s thrilling to feel the quantity and flow. I love feeling those sporadic, warm, gooey little spurts. RAWR.

    My fantasy is for Minx to come on me and then lick it all up again. Sadly, the one time we actually tried it, he started to gag. I guess neither of us appreciates that flavour. 😛

  5. I kind of understand what you’re saying, Perverse Cowgirl. I’d actually not shy away from pissing (on my face) either. (Please! Pretty please!) I just… maybe miss the gene of ickyness or something. I have no trouble with any of the waste materials of the body. I lick Wonderboy’s tears away, we kiss after a blowjob or a oral, and also (this will probably ick many, many people) after rimming. I don’t know. I just don’t feel that strongly about that.

    With your dominant desires disregarding your comfort that way would be a huge downer. With my submissive flare I enjoy the fear of it clogging my nostrils and smudging my eyes, even if it’s in the way back of my head. I especially enjoy being forced to do something I’m not completely in love with doing and I enjoy him pushing me to do some things… But I have to say that he really didn’t have to push me with this. In the moment I was so up for it. There was a slight ick factor for me, though, when he first tried to clean it up with a tissue. It just kept sliding from under it to my eyes, nose and mouth and *ick* the slimy feeling! 😀 But when he made it a game too with his rough hands and with the hitting. Oh my.

    In further thought I also think that maybe the degrading aspect Feministsub pondered on is somehow inscribed to us by our culture and it comes out in many ways. Feeling it’s too icky, (why is cleanliness suddenly so important?) detesting the substance, (I swallow it for biology’s sake, I think my mouth tastes a lot more than my face!) feeling pushed down emotionally by the act. I’ve come on Wonderboy’s face like a thousand times and he’s been dripping from his lashes to his chin… And he never made a face. That’s not seen as degrading (by our culture) it’s just seen as super hot. I’m thinking about the squirting videos out there for anyone to grab. I guess women enjoying, and there being real proof, is the ultimate fantasy of many, but male pleasure is still seen as self-evident and so less precious. I also think that women are expected to be good girls and not wanting so much to do with that stuff. Otherwise you’re total slut.

    It’s precious to me.

    Also, I like the taste and smell of Wonderboy’s come (and precum!). This is not something new, I always like the taste of men I’m in love with. Some others… God, I couldn’t gag enough. So, I think for me the recognicing process with the pheromones I guess ends up covering all his waste materials as well. It’s him. But I wouldn’t want to lick the clotted semen from anywhere. Somehow that texture kind of is a real ick for me. Pt-hooi.

    (Well, except for poop. I have no desire to touch it or smell it or anything else. But I’m not scared of it either and I don’t see the use for douching.)

  6. Upon further reflection, I’ve realized a big part of my considering facials degrading is the way men talk about them. Any guy I’ve known who liked the idea of coming on a woman’s face talked about it like it was a combination of humiliating the woman and marking her as territory.

    Although everything else I’ve said above still applies, as well.

    The idea that you’ve come all over WonderBoy’s face, though…that is hot to me. 😀 And I totally understand lacking the “ick” gene…I have less of one than many people, but Minx is even more open-minded than I am. I think everyone should be that way (and I wish I was). Sex is inherently messy. Nobody can afford to be too prissy with it.

    So squirting videos show women drenching a man’s face? I’ve never watched that kind of stuff so I had no idea. I would not have expected it. That’s kind of cool. 🙂

  7. Well, I’m bi and at some point my desire was more focused on women. I really, really like the come factor in women too. I don’t actually remember, if I’ve ever seen porn where a guy was hit by squirting (but I do believe it’s out there); that’s something that happens in our life on occasion though. But the squirting is held to a similar symbolic power than ejaculating in porn and that makes me feel empowered, because of the medicalisation and denying it altogether elsewhere. I’ve spent a lot of time being really ashamed of it… No matter how much it’s liked and even expected in some groups.

    I also kind of feel guilty about being able to do it (and unable to avoid it, too!) because many women whose thoughts I’ve read have commented on squirting a little defencively like it’s something that they should be able to do in order to be truly liberated, kinky or slutty enough. It’s crazy. It’s not good if you can (slut! unclean! be very ashamed!), but it’s no good if you can’t, either (prude! not liberated enough! frigid!).

    I can understand this mixed feeling, because as a man I’d probably wonder why then would some women be able to come and ejaculate and others not. I’d probably feel I’m doing something wrong and am not enough, if I wasn’t convinced. It doesn’t seem to make sense. But neither does the fact that some people, like myself, can orgasm from almost anything, if in the right mood and blahdeblah, but some can’t but from a very precise way of stimulating (as you or so I’ve gathered?). Wonderboy actually needs a very spesific kind of stimulation on his cock and can’t orgasm without it. Why don’t I think that’s a defect, then? Because men are perceived as one-way-for-all type and women precious exotic flowers. 😉 It would never occur to me to think the way he gets off is anything but magical and wondrous. That’s exactly what I expect in return.

    The idea that you’ve come all over WonderBoy’s face, though…that is hot to me.

    This makes me happy. He actually pointed out at some point that I hadn’t done so in a long time and he missed it. It makes him incredibly hot too. But it’s messy, especially on my period. I’d trade a lot of good things to get away from trying to wash our mangled sheets. We actually measured, how long I’ve come from the marks on the sheets. (It’s half a meter, BTW, if anyone’s wondering. I’m lying right next and on the marks and it’s longer than my arm from my elbow to my fingers.)

    Squirting is something that only happens, when I’m really surrendering. I can’t force the emotional state, but when I’m in it, squirting can be forced a bit. And sometimes, I think, it’s only physiological. I think it’s a place in my cunt that produces the liquid and it can be…. induced. But I have to be really happy, content and relaxed. So, it really is an indicator of my overall enjoyment! 😀 Hah.

  8. jnakabb says:

    O M G. Oily titty-fuck, happy facials and spontaneous squirting. I guess you must be doing doing something right !

    Ah, I think I may need to take a shower…and it may take a while to tidy up.

  9. Sounds good to me! It does sound rather… exciting when you put it like that, although my perspective is muddled with emotions and self-awareness.

    Have fun! 😀

  10. I guess to me (and to other people who feel facials are degrading) semen is kind of a waste material. Not as waste-y as piss or shit, but waste nonetheless. Plus, shooting it in my face indicates a disregard for my comfort – it could sting my eyes, get in my nose and hamper my breathing, or get in my mouth (and I don’t like the taste).

    Oh, you know it totally makes sense that people would see it as a waste material, and now it seems funny to me that I’ve never seen it that way. Maybe the product of being raised by hippies? Also, I have to confess that I really dig the disregard for my comfort, but I understand that’s a minority POV and definitely tied to my submissiveness.

    Upon further reflection, I’ve realized a big part of my considering facials degrading is the way men talk about them. Any guy I’ve known who liked the idea of coming on a woman’s face talked about it like it was a combination of humiliating the woman and marking her as territory.

    Oh, yeah, I totally get that. When I was really young, I had issues with blowjobs because of that – because they are so often talked about as this degrading thing (ie, “suck my dick” being a put-down) and it took me a while to realize there’s nothing inherently degrading about an act that’s about giving your partner pleasure. And even though I feel that there’s nothing inherently degrading about coming on someone’s face either, the cultural ideas about degradation and objectification are part of what makes it so hot for me. And I *definitely* personally see it as a “marking of territory” thing but, of course, I find that indescribably hot, soooo….

    As a side note: I always find it so amazing that the biggest slut-shaming guys – ie the ones that talk about coming on a woman’s face as being degrading – are the ones who are most likely to complain about how women won’t have casual sex with them. Don’t they see the connection?

  11. I guess women enjoying, and there being real proof, is the ultimate fantasy of many, but male pleasure is still seen as self-evident and so less precious.

    Totally! A female orgasm is an achievement for a man, but male orgasms are dime-a-dozen, and thus less valuable (or so goes the cultural narrative). But honestly, I think there’s little hotter than watching a guy come, especially if I had something to do with it. C used to send me videos of himself jerking off and OMG I loved those. This is why porn is so often disappointing to me, you almost never get to see the man’s face when he comes.

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