On a side note I asked that he’d start calling me his angel.
Angels are pure and fragile and full of light. They do good deeds. I want to be an angel to you.
Okay, he said. You’ll be my little angel. And I want you to address me as daddy.
We’ve already established that I’m to call him sir, when I answer his orders. I think that angel portrays all the ways I want to be treated and seen by him. And I think, probably, daddy portrays all the way he wants me to see him.
He is the one to take care of me and to shield me from harm, but also to punish me when I transgress. He’s the one for me to look up to. I am the one to cherish and admire and hold. This is the dynamic that works for me.