It’s crazy, isn’t it? To feel so excited that I want to rush to the doctor on Monday. I want to tell Wonderboy that we’re going to have a baby! I just want to be happy, and it’s so close I can almost feel it.
And nothing’s for certain.
The new doctor did an ultrasound on me on Friday. Yesterday. It feels as if it was months ago. There had been some miscommunication between the doctors in our old city and now in the new, so she thought I was just beginning to take the second hormone. She was almost shocked about the size of the follicles already and scheduled the procedure for Monday. Only one more day to go!
I know how much can go wrong. I already know that I have a low follicle account, and now I found out that my right ovary is only producing one follicle – even with the hormone injections. It’s the one that always hurts too. But the other one was playing ball with 5 follies, and although only two of them were the right size, I can’t really concentrate on the negative now. I need to believe even if just for a moment. A week from now I could be pregnant. And that’s what I choose to think.
They were concerned about choosing between the normal IVF and ICSI (which is micro injecting the sperm into the follicle and is done, if the sperm isn’t moving well). I don’t understand why they can’t just ICSI the whole lot, but for some reason they won’t. Because I have so few eggs to choose from, they don’t know how to decide and divide the ones being treated normally in a petri dish and the ones being micro injected. Oh well. We don’t even know, how many of the follicles will be ripe, will make it out whole – and we don’t know, if they’ll be good cells.
The doctor asked me, out of the blue, if this was my first time (damn right it is!) and if I know about the cell information. Well, duh. No! That’s what I’m worried about! Maybe she was reacting to the fact that I told her about the miscarriages. I also told her that my first doctor doesn’t believe in them at all, because I never had the positive pregnancy test. But maybe this new doctor did think it could be about poor cell development and not about the progesterone. I guess we’ll see, if the capsules help this time.
Oh, I almost forgot the most important part: the implantation is done on Thursday. I’m on sick leave until then. Although I’m very afraid about the news, about my cells, my poor follie babies, I still can’t wait! We’re finally here. Somewhere. Finally something’s being done.
We also just had the best sex ever. Twice. Maybe the second time was ecouraged by me saying that this might be the last time before I’m pregnant. Since Wonderboy has to be abstinent from now on until Monday to get good amounts of sperm for the procedure and I won’t be able to fool around after the evasive procedure. Pretty damn scary! And so, so exciting and miraculous!