I am a girl, Stereotypes

Married and Dating

So what do you guys think about the TV series Polyamorous: Married and dating? I’ve watched a couple of episodes and I’m still sort of undecided.

On the plus side: The show has made me think about our ways of enforcing certain ideas about love in our society, like the fact that it’s less valuable if divided among many, that it can be stolen or lost and that there are certain expected paths to love and there on after. It has also made me think if I’m actually open minded at all (I never really thought I was, I’m very reserved in some ways and this seems to be one of them), but more over it has made me think how I might change the way I speak and act in the world to try to make it more welcoming to others. I have already done a ton of work trying to include queer relationships, identities, sexualities and also transgender folks in my idle chit chat possibilities. This merely means that I try to avoid making presumptions about their partners’ gender etc, when talking to new people. But I see I might need even more work.

Although my collagues did laugh me off once because I did this and said that I must be very open minded to expect that they might have more spouses or lovers than one. Hmph.

On the other hand the show has probably enforced some of my prejudices about polyamory. Sometimes the show makes me feel protective of some of the people. I also do feel that what the show shows to me seems a little watered down version of love. But this might be because it’s a tv show, because of the type of couples they chose to it and because they only show certain situations and probably mercilessly guide the subjects to talk about certain things in a certain way in their interview clips. It’s just so centered on sex it seems a little hollow. But I guess that’s what the majority of people is (expected to be) interested in: the group sex and the steaming sex with “outsiders”.

I’m happy about the different sex scenes, because some of them I thought were ground breaking on showing some real sexy blushed faces and ways of being in a sexual situation that usually are forgotten in porn.  Also loved the intensive faces. How could they let them shoot all of that? Wow. But some of the people maybe seem a bit childish to me (maybe it’s because jealousy just brings up the child in us and not in a good way). I also know that I could never enjoy a relationship like that. It’s not like I just have it all – although I feel like it now – I just think I couldn’t handle any more than this. It makes me really uncomfortable to see the people who are struggling in the shows poly settings try to find balance. I have thought about not continuing to watch the show because of this creeping feeling.

What do you think? Especially you monogamish readers I know are out there?


One thought on “Married and Dating

  1. Pingback: A Suggestion For a Third Player | Past the Hurt

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